Thursday, July 26, 2007

Global Warming is all Sunshine, Roses, and Rainbows

It's great to have a rising average temperature. Everything is hotter, which is cool.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Rise of Power

The Potentially Insane Take to The Net!

In a world where just about anyone with computer access and the ability to type coherently in at least one language can post their innermost feelings and desires online, the conservative party of Canada has made a huge step in cutting out my competition.

IM sure anyone who watches any reality TV (the unscripted REAL kind) reads a newspaper or listens to the radio has heard about harpers segregating his party from the press. But now hes gone so far as to pull at least one of Stockwells posts from the sphere. All future posts have to go through personal view of the prime minister of Canada before reaching our eyes.

Wheres the justice! IF I, A potentially insane IDIOT am allowed to post WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT HERE, than shouldnt the well educated supposedly intelligent political figures who are RUINING OUR COUNTRY... Wait sorry RUNNING OUR COUNTRY be trustworthy enough to do the same.

The only logical conclusion I can draw from this is that Harper has been eating his Party one by one and cant let the media find out. After all hes never gone on record saying he dosent eat babies.(and their all someones babies)

Friday, December 15, 2006

What do you get the Olympic athlete who has everything?

A medal for a medal

Okay so I may just be jealous because I like shiny things, But I was reading the paper and learnt that Cindy klassen, Canadas Multimetalist at the Olympics, has received yet another award for her award winning performance at the last games.

That means that because she won all those medals we have given her two more medals and, yes; an honorary law degree. Dont get me wrong I know shes the best at the world at what she does, but what she does is run and skate really fast, and she ALSO WON MULTIPLE OLYMPIC MEDALS FOR IT!

Yknow what id like to see? People getting medals for doing something useful, and yes im aware of the Nobel prize (but does anyone remember who won for chemistry last year? I sure as hell dont). Hell I wired up a table to work by remote control, I didnt even get a button. Just a burn from my soldering torch.

But I digress, if atheletes are worthy of Honorary law degrees than shouldnt lawyers be awarded honorary olympic medals? At least the top of the class should get one shouldnt they? Its only fair.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Moving up the Ladder

Lowered Expectations!

Well this is clearly a case of my ex falling back in love with me. Since the break up we havent had much contact, aside from one nite where we went to her place drank a whole lotta rum and made cookies, and this isnt a metaphor we made actual cookies... Chocolate chip... They were delicious... But anyway

But anyway... I was spending time with her brother (we went to highschool together and are both avid gamers) when she came in suggested we watch arrested development(only the most sex-i-full-ish show about housing developments ), and share a plate of poutine (thats fries covered in gravy and cheese... only the hottest thing any good greaseloving man like myself could eat)

But after taking Season three from The trip to the cabin all the way to the end of the wedding episode, i had to go... and she asked if i wanted to go see a movie later. I said sure and that i would call her when i finished dinner with the family (pasta la vista)

Of course i figured she was probably just looking to get out of the house and that her current boyfriend (too tall for a a 5ft girl i might add) was occupied at the moment. Plus if i can get over the "your the girl i have naked pictures of on my computer" issues, having a friend couldnt hurt. Naturally however she seemed to have other plans, when i called her back she decided naturally that the movie was a bad idea. This is of course the same technique she used to get me into her house and keep me there when we were dating. WELL IM NOT FALLING FOR IT! Wait what? Well the important thing is i made up my mind.

Oh and by the way dya know how they make those black noodles black in the fettuchini? SQUID INK!!!

also dont mention the naked pictures thing... i wouldnt want that information to get out and say... Posted on the internet.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

No Sweat Pants Button

I Cant Stay Mad At You

Well im back after a long hiatus. But I have a great excuse. What is it? uhhh, my chair was defective.

Thats right I got a new blogging chair. A reclining blogging chair with footstool. Black... Leather... The works. All for the low low price of 90 dollars

Where did I get it? AT MY NEW JOB! Thats right I quit working for the Orange Devils. They gave me an ultimatum quit the physio you need to recover from your car accident. Or dont get any hours.

So I went to the competition and said I accept your offer to pay me more.

I also bought a new car since Autopac has refused to let me have my old one.
yknow cuz they sold it to someone before they owned it.

Honda Civic
50000k (almost)
Reliable car?
Check back for an update and a link to my next blog ""
With Sound AND video.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Rona Ambrose defends climate change...

...plan. She defends Canada's New Government's approach to tackle climate change in 2050. Gosh you gotta love a Minister of the Environment that places the environment into its place - second, or third, or maybe at least fourth when it comes to settling Canada's international obligations and commitments. With that kind of "take charge" and "run away" attitude, she'll earn the nickname Runa Awaybrose in no time.

In other news, BRex works at a store that doesn't rhyme with Minister Ambrose's first name. It's one of those homographs. The store is a homograph, not BRex - he likes girls. I hope that the Conservatives approach to same-sex marriage doesn't take a bad turn, and turn same-name words. Otherwise either Rona, or Rona, could be in for some legislation against them cohabitating the same name space.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Why yes, that is degrading. Profiling doesn’t work

I never know who I’ll find in The Alliance of Free Blogs lurking with hatred and misdirected rage:

“Well yes, I really CAN think of something more degrading and humiliating for an American citizen to go through.. [pictures shown of people jumping from WTC on 9/11]”

Are you referring to you using their dying moments as propaganda for racial profiling of brown people in airports? Beause yeah, I think that’s possibly more degrading than being racially profiled.

Further to the discussion over the pro-racism cartoon at the above link, is UncleMeat’s suggestion that racial profiling is better than the status quo. I think it works too, but in a different way than the intention of the profilers. It ends up radicalizing those subjected to inequal treatment. It took “radicals” in both the black, and women demographics to enact changes over decades in regions where they recieved starkly different institutional treatment due to their appearance. It’s just common sense that if all Canadian Muslims are subjected to state sponsored racism, there will be massive resentment and protest [and even terrorism] generated against Canada. If you think we’re threatened now when we haven’t even done anything formally wrong to Muslims, just wait until we treat them all like we treated Japanese Canadians during World War II.

Here’s my suggestion:

The vast majority of terrorists are men, so we should start profiling everyone with a penis at the airports. Radical Muslims can take off their turban, but men can’t remove their PENIS. That’s just good sense. This is no time for political correctness! Men are killers. People are dying on planes because of male acts of terrorism every day! Well, maybe more like every 5 years, but if you divide the number of dead with the number of days between incidents, it averages out to about a person a day in the world!

Just look at the world’s known terrorists, they are all men. Osama Bin Laden, Timothy McViegh, Saddam Hussien, Cat Stevens, John Tesh, Steve Urkel, and Khan. Forget putting resources into preventing hundreds of thousands from dying in earthquakes and tsunamis, because the real threat is male shoe bombers. As a member of the guilty sex, I’ll happily submit to unfair searches on the street or in airports so that when people see me being searched by police they’ll know they are safe.

Sewing On A Plane Never again will I be allowed to sew in first class on Air Canada, because I might poke everyone to death with my intense male killing rage against whatever radical cause it is I’m passionate about that day. There’s nothing worse than Sewing On A Plane in this post 9/11 world.